Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Back to work, back to "fear".

A nightmare

So, I have a nightmare last night. In the dream I was faced with a table full of outstanding claims to process, so much so that I shouted that I want to quit the job. Actually, I haven't even started working yet (Friday is the first day) and I took about 3 months to land this position. I shared this with my brother and he said that it is my body manifesting the fear that I have. I don't deny that I have fear of not able to cope with the workload since I have been unemployed for the past 2 years as I focus on my studies, I am used to my own time and pace of doing things. I also doubts my abilities to do a good job since I have no experience handling this class of claims.

That little bit of awareness

I guess my previous practice of meditation and general awareness have filter into the dreamscape, I told myself in the dream that what I am feeling is just fear and anyway I don't have any back-up plan and I have rejected other job interviews, so there is really no other way out. Such awareness doesn't happen often but when it does, the result is usually a clear remembrance of the content and decision made in the dream.

Post-analysis

Fear is just the mind natural response to new and unknown things, the differences being whether the fear is:
  • Justified or Unjustified
  • Acute or Chronic
  • Rational or Un-rational
The above points might spake debate among some readers, so I am just going to leave it that fear regardless of the points above is real fear to the person feeling it. Just like any sort of event, feelings or emotions that arise, these will also falls. I am not going to believe my negative thoughts until I have more information and experience in my new job.

So you want happiness?

Am I viewing the job as something that will affect my level of happiness? Living my life at my own pace for the past 2 years is really a luxury that I enjoyed. But all things will come to an end and I guess I have to find new ways to create happiness. I find this to be an interesting read on creating happiness in daily lives and will try it out, I hope you will find it useful and share with others.


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