Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Hot coal, get it right!!!
Another inspirational talk with my Brother which touches on the Dhamma.
I was telling my Brother how much I like this lady and what she did / not do that made me feel so hurt and painful. But now I am feeling a bit better since I have learn to let go of a bit of the attachment / unrealistic expectation I have of her.
I relate to him that we should let go of the hot coal we are holding since it is burning us. I.e. let go of my attachment to her. My Brother analyzed this statement and asked me this question which clear my thoughts:
Bro: Did you demonize her and create negative thoughts of her?
Me: Yes, I did.
Bro: Well, you should get it straight that it is not her that you should let go but your view of her. From hearing your statement on the hot coal, I know that you are trying to paint a picture of her which is negative.
Yes, my Brother hit the bull eye!!
Our conversation then moved onto human communication and how difficult it is. He related how one of his friend was ignoring him and him ignoring her. Well, the day before all the things got clear up and they are on talking terms again. My Brother commended that a wall between people is so easily build up but also easily taken down but before it did, it is a vicious cycle as the relationship between people only got worst by each day each is ignoring the others.
I gave him my own 1 second insight on how people build up "Walls of Bubbles". I.e. it is easy to build up, easy to take down but when it is separating people, each person have a distorted view of the others. My Brother....he like this idea. :)
Now armed with those new insight into how I relate to people and the danger of building a Wall of Bubbles, I shall be true to interpersonal communication, I think at the end of the day it is just being comfortable with my own skin and not trying to put up a front or going around creating demons out of everyone that upset me; or angels for those that makes me happy. Just be human and accept whatever positive and negative that come from being me, you, he or her.